Compelled and Consumed
by 27dayz
Summary: On the old Wickery Bridge, Elena Gilbert contemplates moments in her life, some memorable, some missing, and reconsiders what she wants. SPOILERS FOR 3x22


**AN: I don't own Vampire Diaries.**

**SPOILERS FOR 3x22!**

**Compelled and Consumed**

Elena Gilbert could count the number of times she had been compelled on one hand. Sure, there were times when she had pretended to be compelled, but the moments where she had actually been compelled were few and far between...a feat that was pretty impressive, considering that she lived in the company of vampires.

She breathed in and then out, taking in the fresh smell of the river.

_"I want you to get everything you're looking for."_

But what was she looking for? How could she even know when she found it?

What if she had already found it and let it slip from her hands?

_"You want a love that consumes you. You want passion, and adventure, and even a little bit of danger."_

Well, she certainly found that, she thought, staring down at the rushing river that had washed away all the innocence of the girl looking for passionate, all-consuming love.

She had found vampires, the dangerous creatures of the night that compelled victims to give their blood willingly. The Salvatores. They awakened her passion, made her feel the all-consuming love, and would have both gladly laid down their own lives to protect her from the danger they had brought to her life.

They loved her.

And she loved them.

Both of them.

_"No matter what I feel for you, I never unfell for him."_

Elena thought about her words to Damon, admitting the truth, that she had feelings for him, but it was his brother who had made her feel alive again after her parents deaths. Stefan was there, putting her back together and that was something she could never forget.

_"Maybe if you and I had met first..."_

Elena let out a hollow laugh as tears streamed down her face.

If only...

A sound made her whirl around, hyper-alert, and she found him standing there, his ice-blue eyes brimming with concern.

"I followed you," he admitted, "You were upset and..."

He trailed off, his voice breaking off as he stared at her tears. It looked like his heart was breaking for her.

It was then that she wondered just how many times that look of misery had crossed his face because of her.

_"I get it. Stefan. It's always going to be...Stefan."_

She had said it to him before, and she remembered the look on his face when she did. So much hurt. And then he had lashed out, snapping her brother's neck as she unknowingly repeated Katherine's words.

"Elena, I am so, so sorry," he whispered, stepping up to her. She saw his lower lip quiver slightly.

"_I shouldn't have left. I will never leave you again."_

The last time he had left her, Stefan had been stripped of his humanity and she had witnessed it all first-hand.

And now he had left her again and...

"I should've been here," Damon managed to get out, "I promised you and I broke it. I failed you and I...I am so, very sorry Elena."

_"I will always choose you."_

Had Damon been there, he would have disregarded Matt. He would have went straight for Elena and dragged her out kicking and screaming. She knew this, but even though she knew this, she was still a little thankful that he wasn't there. Then Matt would be gone.

"Don't be, Damon. It just happened-"

"You never wanted this," he whispered, "I know you didn't. Even before...you hated me so much for giving you my blood during the thing with Klaus..."

_"I can't lose you."_

"Damon, don't. Don't do that. This is something that happened and neither of us could control it."

He couldn't say a word. He just pulled her close to him and kissed her forehead. She didn't know. It was too soon for her to know just how much she would miss her old life. She would miss her humanity as much as he missed his.

She breathed in his unique scent, one that she could pick out of line-up, one that she knew even before they first met in the boarding house.

_"You must be Elena. I'm Damon. Stefan's brother."_

She looked up at Damon, who started and seemed to realize his proximity, for once.

"I'm sorry. I know you've made your choice, I just...had a lapse."

She saw the pain flicker over his face. As a vampire, he had the power to turn off the pain, and yet he chose to endure...a different Damon from the one she had met.

_"When people see good, they expect good. And I don't want to have to live up to anyone's expectations."_

Or maybe he was the same, only he had hidden his true self all that time, only allowing little glimpses to escape his dark, dangerous facade.

_"What I'm about to say is probably the most selfish thing I have ever said in my life. I just have to say it once. You need to hear it. I love you, Elena. And it's because I love you that I can't be selfish with you...and why you can't know this. I don't deserve you, but my brother does. God, I wish you didn't have to forget this...but you do."_

He loved her. He loved his brother. In truth, it was her who did not deserve him or his perfect, all-consuming love.

"Damon, I love you."

"Don't. Don't say that after you said you were letting me go," he begged, trying to reign in the sour look that crossed his face.

"Why? You did."

Confusion flashed over him as he frowned.

"You made me forget about your feelings so I could be with Stefan and I know you've told me that you loved me since then," she admitted.

"You remember," he said hollowly, "What does that mean?"

"It means that I know what I want."

"And what do you want?" Damon asked.

"I want a love that consumes me. I want passion and adventure and even a little bit of danger."

For a moment they stared at each other, remembering the words spoken so long ago, before their lives became so very crazy.

They moved at the same time, their lips crashing together as her hands weaved through his dark locks and as he pulled her flush against his hard body. Their mouths moved together like they were made for each other. She leaned against the rail of the bridge that had taken her parents' lives.

That had taken hers.

She clung tighter to Damon.

And he wasn't about to let her go.

_"It's Damon...when I'm with him, he just...consumes me."_

And he was right there all along.

**THE END**

**AN: Fantastic season finale. So exited for vampire Elena and what she's going to do when she remembers everything Damon has done for her. Then she'll realize who is really the better choice. **


End file.
